By Brianna Douglas
Women today have high standards when it comes to what they want and
expect out of relationships, especially heterosexual ones. Part of this is due
to the use of technology that acts as both a gateway and a hindrance to good
relationships. Women want men to call them on time, buy them nice things,
cuddle and spend time, and of course, be “before anyone else.” Though some of
these expectations seem odd they all lead to one main idea: women want to be
loved and respected. But how can we get this if we keep disrespecting ourselves
just to get a man’s attention? Showing off everything before the guy should
even be allowed to see, doing things that pleases them, often sexually, just so
they can call you back at night. That’s why men cannot stay but so loyal to most girls because they're giving it all out. Women seem to be acting more
desperate for love and attention than ever before. So what do women really want
from a relationship?
Back in the 20th century, women were starting to get into the
public sphere and work to get their own money. Lower class women started to
want men to treat them when asking for their time, and “dating” began [1]. As
we move in to the mid-20th century society becomes more liberally sexualized
and women start to become sexually objectified. National Public Culture comes
in and changes the way people date forever. Magazines such as Playboy, Esquire and
Cosmopolitan tell people how to dress and act towards the opposite sex in order
to attract them. Sex becomes commercialized and adds tension in relationships
between women and men. The Culture of Consumption definitely hits the root of relationships
and changes people’s view point from loving one another to wanting something
from one another out of the relationship [2]. Women during the rating and
dating time period in the 1940s wanted money, gifts and dates, while men wanted
what they always want, sex. The culture of consumption negatively affected the
way most people view relationships, even today.
In today’s society, studies show that women want someone who can empathize
with them, someone who knows when they’re upset or depressed. Women were also
said to like when men showed their negative emotions because it brings
connection and shows communication [3]. Women seem to be more interested in
guys with emotional compatibility and good communication skills. Communication
is a big factor that causes the most conflict in today’s society, which is
ironically raging with social media, texting and video messaging. A lot of
women still think with all of this that men are just not good communicators.
Because women are still sexually objectification, some women use promiscuity to get
with men in order to find love, just like Kerry Cohen did in Loose Girl. This kind of behavior makes
women focus mostly on appearance and self-objectify, which can lead some to
depression, anxiety and other harmful side effects [4]. But still, sex is not
what women truly want; it is love and respect.
It is a struggle to maintain decent
relationships these days, but now that we know what women want, what is society
going to do about it? Right now, not much action is being taken, and the future
of happy monogamous relationships may be in jeopardy.
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Footnotes
1. Moore, Crystal, “Civilized Morality Leads to Crusades for
Sexual Order,” Lecture, History of Sexuality in America, UNCC, Charlotte, North
Carolina, March 13, 2014.
2. Moore, Crystal, “Beyond Reproduction,” Lecture, History of
Sexuality in America, UNCC, Charlotte, North Carolina, April 10, 2014.
4. Moore, Crystal, “The Contemporary Crisis in Sexuality,”
Lecture, History of Sexuality in America, UNCC, Charlotte, North Carolina, April 26, 2014.
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