Monday, April 28, 2014

New generation meets new coming-out reactions

By: Tyler Harris

LGBT youths are commonly traumatized when it comes time for them to come out to their parents. In the past, very few came out until they were adults in fear of rejection and negative reactions.

It is understandable why very little people in the past came out, even to their parents. In the 19th century, Thomasine Hall was physically investigated by five female neighbors in order to determine her sex because of how she was dressing. [1] Back then, neighbors went as far as forcibly examining people whose sexuality was questioned. It is no wonder that teenagers would be petrified to find out what their own parents would do if they were to come out of the closet.

This new generation however has found that families are reacting more to the news with hugs, love, and even yawning.

Evidence of this is found in 22 year old Ryan Ward’s YouTube video, in which he comes out to his mother. Ryan was extremely worried his mother would be disappointed or sad, even though he knew she loved him. He found inspiration from watching other YouTube videos of people coming out to their parents. After shedding many tears, Ryan came out to his mom open, who accepted him with open arms, and was laughingly more worried that he had ran over someone with his car. [2]

Acceptance is very important in a world where the average age of coming out is 16 years old as of 2010, down from 25 in 1991. [3] In the past, even if a gay youth’s parents did not accept them, they at least were likely moved out, graduated from college, and already out living on their own so that their parents’ opinions did not dictate their daily life. Most gay youth are coming out when they still live with their parents who they still depend on, therefore acceptance and support is crucial. Recent research has shown that highly rejected LGBT young people are more than 8 times more likely to have attempted suicide as those who are not or are only a little rejected. [4]

Luckily, more and more stories like Ryan’s are being shared now that the new generation is finding places like YouTube to not only find acceptance, but encouragement by seeing how other parents react. One of the largest YouTube projects, It Gets Better, has found great success in reaching out to LGBT youth.

It Gets Better was sparked by the recent suicides of four students who were gay. Sex columnist Dan Savage sat down with his partner Terry Miller and began talking about the bullying they endured and what life was like, as well as encouraged others to send in their video testimonials about being LGBT as well. In just under one month, the channel received over 1.2 million views, with more than 650 people of all ages, religions, and sexual orientations submitting their own story. [5]

In today’s social networking world, the internet has made it much easier for LGBT youth to understand that they aren’t alone, it gets better, and that there are always people out there who support them no matter what.

Footnotes:
1. Demos, John. "Daughters of the Revolution." The New York Times. Last modified April 28, 1996. http://www.nytimes.com/1996/04/28/books/daughters-of-the-revolution.html.

2. Peters, Terri. "The new coming-out speech: on YouTube, met with hugs... and yawns - Moms .com." TODAY. Last modified March 17, 2014. http://www.today.com/moms/new-coming-out-speech-youtube-met-hugs-yawns-2D12143558.

3. American Friends of Tel Aviv University. "Age of 'coming out' is now dramatically younger: Gay, lesbian and bisexual teens find wider family support, says researcher." ScienceDaily. Last modified October 11, 2011. www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/10/111011112759.htm.

4. Ryan, Caitlyn. "Helping Families Support Their Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) Children." San Francisco State University. Last modified September, 2009. http://nccc.georgetown.edu/documents/LGBT_Brief.pdf.

5. Cruz, Nicole S. "YouTube channel tells gay teens: It gets better." Los Angeles Times. Last modified October 9, 2010. http://articles.latimes.com/2010/oct/09/nation/la-na-adv-gay-youtube-20101010.

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