Hooking up Vs Dating

Hooking Up vs Dating

By: Ashley Hardy

When most people in society think of the term “hooking up” their minds automatically think of horny teenagers who may be under the influence of alcohol or drugs having a one night stand after the common bar or club scene. This is how the media displays most hook up cases and we unconsciously see the guys participating in them as horny and ready to do anything for sex. We see the girls as whores; I mean that not in a disrespectful way but merely just describing what society thinks. So why is hooking up so much more popular with teens than actually dating?

Dating has been around for forever. In Colonial America it was called courting. It was more of a public thing and instead of a private moment between the couple (1). Men even back then and during the Civil War times were known to be the one to ask permission for courtship. During World War I courting soon disappeared and going on dates was now in. During these dates it was common knowledge for the man to ask the woman out and to also pay for everything (1).

I can see how hooking up can be seen as better than dating. You get a night with no commitments, no strings attached. Meanwhile on the dating stand point you have to put a lot more effort into establishing a relationship with your significant other before sex even becomes an option. A survey conducted by a man named Bradshaw polled men and women at a public university in America. In it the students were asked whether they liked dating better or hooking up more. Guys and girls both said they preferred the old school dating over a casual encounter however guys were still more common to have and enjoy hook ups more than girls. But for some reason for both the girls and guys the amount of each of their hook ups was almost double of the amount of relationships they had (2).

Men often prefer hooking up over having a stable relationship because they don’t want to be tied down. They want to still have the freedom of doing want they want when they want without having to consult a partner. There is also a lot of pressure put on the man within a relationship. He is under societies norms to ask the girl out, create the date environment, be the driver, and on top of it all pay for it all. Meanwhile the women are at home prettying up for the date, enjoying the ride in the car, and keeping their money inside their purses (3). If you ask me I can see how hooking up can be somewhat more beneficial for the men and save them a ton of money.

After researching this topic I now understand a different perspective of hooking up. At first I thought teens just did it for fun and were just being reckless, but now I see that it is so much more than that. Women put a lot of pressure on men to commit to a relationship that men are just not ready for. That’s why I think guys prefer hooking up over dating, the pressure is just too much and they may feel as though they giving way more than they are getting. At least with hooking up the male and female are somewhat on the same level.

((1)    Annonymous, . The University of Alabama, "The Evolution of Dating." Accessed March 28, 2014. http://shc.ua.edu/files/2009/08/sh-website-timeline-completed1.pdf.

((2)    Nauert, Nicj. "Why Guys Prefer Hooking Up to Dating." Accessed January 30, 2014. http://www.livescience.com/6314-guys-prefer-hooking-dating.html.

((3)    Gallagher, Maura. " The Female Perspective of Hooking-Up on College Campuses ." Accessed January 30, 2014. http://cola.unh.edu/sites/cola.unh.edu/files/student-journals/P12_Gallagher.pdf.