Being Gay in America

By: Tyler Harris

My name is Tyler Harris, and I consider myself an average college guy. I hang out with my bros, party, play sports. Oh yeah, and I'm also gay.

Now, I use the term "gay" to define myself hesitantly, as I am not a fan at defining someone using labels. Sexuality is something that cannot just be defined as being either "gay" or "straight". In the 1950s and 60s, sexologist Alfred Kinsey held a famous study of human sexuality that found that sexuality was gradient on a scale rather than two exclusive categories. (1) Sexual fluidity, the capacity to move from romantic relationships with women to those with men, and vice versa. (3)

This information alone is enough to break down most stereotypes about gay people. I may consider myself gay, but I do find myself physically attracted to girls sometimes. Just because I am gay, who is to say that my next relationship will be with a girl? This fluidity doesn't just affect gay people. If you're straight and get turned on by gay porn, it doesn't make you gay. (1)

The problem is accepting this notion. Society is way more comfortable with women sexual fluidity. Even in middle school, everyone always found it so cool to see to girls make out. That's never socially acceptable in almost any context anywhere in America for guys to do the same. Now, I personally wouldn't do such a thing in public as I am not the type of person who likes to shove their sexuality in everyone's faces. There are some gay men who are really "out there" and overly flamboyant. That is not my thing, as I feel it only makes straight people feel not only uncomfortable, but less likely to support gay rights laws in the future. Just because I am gay does not mean I appreciate the attitudes of some other gay men.

The main thing I want to say is that I do not want to be judged based on my sexuality. Gender-wise, I am 100% male. I don't wear dresses and I never ever want to be any girl's "gay best friend". I'm just a guy who happens to be gay, and that's that.

Never have I encountered a really closed-minded person or had something very ignorant said to me, although once I had someone tell me they knew I was gay due to my "speech impediment", whatever that means. Luckily that is not the norm, as acceptance of gay marriage and gay rights continue to rise in the United States. As of 2012, 54% of American adults consider gay or lesbian relations morally acceptable, up greatly from 38% in 2002. (2) As support and understanding continues to grow for gay rights and relationships, the United States is definitely on a path towards greater acceptance of others.

Endnotes:

1 Kerner, Ian. "Are men 'sexually fluid'?." The Chart CNN. http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2012/06/29/are-men-sexually-fluid/ (accessed January 21, 2014).

2. Saad, Lydia. "U.S. Acceptance of Gay/Lesbian Relations Is the New Normal." Gallup. N.p., 14 May 2012. Web. 25 Jan. 2014. <http://www.gallup.com/poll/154634/acceptance-gay-lesbian-relations-new-normal.aspx>.

3. Simms, Robert. "Coming-out myths and why we fear fluid sexuality." ABC News. http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-12-05/simms-coming-out-myths-and-why-we-fear-fluid-sexuality/5134128 (accessed January 21, 2014).